Taking the plunge into something new can expose you to various feelings: excitement, anxiety, fear, frustration, hope, happiness. I’ve never been one to completely open up emotionally to friends or family. As a very guarded person with evident trust issues, I was raised to believe in respecting elders, etiquette, manners, being polite, only speak when spoken to, help those in need, and to not offer up my opinion or advice unless asked directly. Yet, this can only get you so far in life.
As someone with an outgoing, boisterous personality, it is challenging to maintain a façade of proper poise, kindness, good-natured awesomeness. Words used to describe my childhood idiosyncrasies included “bossy”, “precocious”, and a great “goody two-shoe”. This last one I find ironic, especially when there is an extreme amount of pent up anger, frustration, sadness, and confusion inside this bitter berry. Is it also ironic that my first name and middle name together mean “bitter pearl”? It must be fate.
The meaning of “goody two-shoes”, according to my friends at Phrases.org, is “someone who is virtuous in a coy, smug or sentimental manner.” Phrase.org continues to explain that this phrase derives “from the title of the nursery tale The History of Little Goody Two-Shoes, which was published in 1765.
“The story itself is a re-telling of the Cinderella story, which itself is an example of the Christian teaching that diligence reaps its reward in Heaven – what later came to be called ‘jam tomorrow’.
“’Goody Two-Shoes’ is the name given to a poor orphan – Margery Meanwell. She is so poor as to possess only one shoe and is so delighted when given a pair of shoes by a rich gentleman that she keeps repeating that she has ‘two shoes’: “She ran out to Mrs. Smith as soon as they were put on, and stroking down her ragged Apron thus, cried out, ‘Two Shoes, Mame, see two Shoes’. And so she behaved to all the People she met, and by that Means obtained the Name of ‘Goody Two-Shoes, By virtue of hard work she makes good and marries a wealthy widower – thus mimicking the Cinderella theme of virtue being finally rewarded.”
If Drew is a wealthy widower, then I missed something before walking down the aisle. That aside, I never realized how this phrase really does do a good job of describing the true Greta, at least in my crazy brain. I’ve always tried to be virtuous with my family, friends, at work, in school. Mission: Leave an ever-lasting great impression. Make my parents proud. Be all that I can be! Perseverance is the way to live life! Yes, yes… never give up! And those various actions can in fact be taken as bossy, coy or smug. So far, this phrase suits me well.
Before biting into a berry, there is eager anticipation of tasting its juicy sweetness. How sorely saddened we become when it is sour or tart and spit it out. One of my fears in life has always been what people will think of me if I say X versus Y, or believe apples versus oranges and then share that opinion and am faced with disagreement and judgment. This in fact has molded me into one of the world’s worst debaters. It has also led me to hold back in many circumstances. As I stated earlier, this can only get you so far in life.
Inspired by two very independent, intelligent, amazing, strong-willed women (Brenda E. and Ann S.), I decided to take a plunge into being judged. Yes – here it is, my new blog. Sharing my thoughts, ideas, and opinions should not be taken as self-serving or spiteful. My intent is to share, learn, observe, and grow as a person through self-discovery. Hopefully I will be brave enough to share more personal topics, thoughts and opinions on life in general. To do this, the façade of sweetness will no longer be masked. Sweet on the outside, dark and sinister on the inside, MacBeth’s Inverness Castle has nothing on me. Well, actually it probably does. I’ll try not to hurt anyone’s feelings. I don’t think I’m an evil person…. Or maybe… (Insert evil, heartless laughter sound effect here).
The side that only Drew really knows and OH SO LOVES, that 30-something wife, mom-to-be who is a proud sister, daughter, dreamer, career-driven, sarcastic cynic, secular humanist, angry independent centrist living the American dream in the melting mud pot of Missouri, is going to start sharing with you. Etiquette and manners will persist to be present. Please use logic and reason if you choose to engage.